Would ya look at that?

That almost red thing slightly off center to the right is our first ripe (it's ripe today, wasn't a couple days ago when I took that photo) tomato of 2008. I've been jonesin' for a big, juicy tomato since May. So, these things have taken forever to ripen. We've also got a big fat tomato plant (I'm sure they have a name...but that's as technical as I get when it comes to tomatoes) that's really, really close too.

We don't typically buy tomatoes from the grocery store. No point. They taste like slightly wet cardboard. And lately they can make you pretty sick. Doing right by this fabulous planet and supporting our local farmers is an option we choose pretty often. But there's something about walking onto your back porch (our garden of choice to keep the local vermin from snagging them before we get the chance), seeing that ball (or oval) of juiciness and popping it into your mouth.

I'm finding this tomato obsession particularly odd because until a few years ago I wasn't a fan. Not even a little. Unless you count ketchup. In that case, big fan. Well, I like salsa too - specifically McDowell Farms Salsa which I happened upon a few years ago at Kentucky Crafted: The Market and have since found at Liquor Barn.

Happy tomato eating!

Shoe Tying Fun

I had never really planned on teaching Ava how to tie her shoes. Really, why bother when there are so many non-tying options out there? Besides, I bet Carrie Bradshaw didn't know how to tie shoes.

Ava is a master knot maker, so I figured she was pretty set. Then one day she brought home her glowing report card. It was almost neon it was glowing so hard. But one of the lights was dim keeping it just below neon status. Who knew that shoe tying was on a report card? At that point, Ava informed me that she was pretty much the only kid in her class that didn't know how to tie shoes. Seriously? Surely there are other parents out there that don't have that on the top of their to do list.

So, we kept trying to make time to show her. But the darn velcro and rushing out the door at the last minute made it oh so hard to remember. One lazy day a few weeks ago, I decided that it was time. I grabbed my irreplaceable Asics (seriously, can't find another pair to fit my 10AAs) and Ava attempted the bunny ear tie. That was pretty much a no go. It was on to the other way that may or may not have a name. She learned on the first try. And here she is demonstrating.

First you cross the laces.

Then you put one under the other. That fluff ball at the bottom of the photo is the pregnant momma cat that's adopted us and forces us to feed her. Anyone want a kitten in a couple months?

Then you make a loop de loop or two.

Bring loop number two over and under loop number one.

And you end up with a shoe that probably won't fall off when you take a step and a crazy happy kiddo!

Progress

So, I've been working on getting closer to my ideal square root. I'm happy to report that there has finally been some progress. That darn 11.7898261² wouldn't budge. 11.7473401² is my new BFF (or at least til I kill another pound). That's some seriously exciting stuff right there, folks. I'm pretty sure that I've almost fried the elliptical at the gym. Love that thing. LOVE. IT.

Should the elliptical ever get a spot in the Olympics, I am so at that trial. In fact, I think the gym should start having elliptical races. The ultimate prize for that winner would be an elliptical of their own. And since my gym membership is up at the end of the month, they should definitely have the finals no later than July 31.

Do you smell that bread?

In an attempt to curb our horrendous food spending habits, I started making our own bread. Yes, it started out rocky, but it has been perfected. For whatever reason, our kitchen turns into an oven during the summer, so baking in the actual oven is pretty much out. What to do. Turns out a fabulous sister-in-law of mine had a brand new breadmaker that had never been used and wanted to see some action.

I'll spare you the details of the inch tall loaves and the mushied middle loaves and get to the good stuff. King Arthur has some great recipes on their site. (They also have a great blog that you probably shouldn't ever check out.) The winner of all our bread tests (not based solely on the fact that Ava will eat the bread AND the crust) is the 100% Whole Wheat with flax seeds and Abigail's Honey. Over the course of my bread eating life, I've had quite a few $5 loaves that don't even compare.

Nevermind the fact that we're saving a few bucks and know each of the eight ingredients in our bread, the smell that occurs when those few items knead, rise, mix and bake is the reason I do it!

Rude ass bitch

As a human, the pool of stupid comments is, let's say as big as Lake Superior and Lake Michigan. When you add the title mom to human, the pool of stupid turns into at least one ocean. Add an ocean for each additional child. That's a whole lotta stupid. Knowing this makes it possible for me to ignore most of it.

However, when people are downright rude, that's another story. I haven't had much rude directed at my little family.

I often go shopping with my sister in law, also a mother of three. We're most aware that we look like a preschool - six kids ages 7, 4, 4, 2, 2 and almost 8 months - on a field trip when we're out. If people have nasty things to say, they've always been quiet about it. Until the other day.

We were making our way into Whole Foods (which I'm liking less and less - thanks for getting rid of our fave & your most popular selling cereal - makes sense) when two ancient women were leaving. One old bitty said real bitchy like, "Well, thanks for helping with overpopulation." So I said, "Actually, they all have different dads. That makes us -2 when it's all said and done." No, I didn't, but should it happen again, I will.

A clean fridge

Cleaning the fridge, as in taking everything out and washing all that sticky goo off, is an activity so heinous that I do it about once a year. Yeah, seriously. At least I can admit it. So it was that time a couple weeks ago. It's almost like I opened a window and let in the light. The clean fridge sparkles. It smells good. It's empty. Is this what happens when one cleans a fridge?

We're, okay, I'm pretty good at labeling leftovers with a name (oh, don't tell me that you've never had one of those unidentified moldy sculptures in a rubbermaid) and date, so I knew exactly how old some of that stuff was. The new plan, which will work for at least a month, is to remove food items after one week.

And while we're on the subject of cleaning, what is up with those foamy soap dispensers? I love them, don't get me wrong, but I'm tired of being assaulted as the thing fires off in random directions due to formerly foamy soap clogging the shooter. The worst was when I shot Lucy the cat. My mother in law suggested spraying some canola oil into the shooter to keep it lubed up. Only worked for a shot or two.

Happy Father's Day!

Wade and our college buddy went to see The Queers last night near Cincy. I thought Wade was going to take part of this morning off and have a yummy Father's Day breakfast with us. At 8:30pm last night I realized that we were out of an essential Overnight Cinnamon Roll ingredient - buttermilk. (If you've never made these DO IT NOW!) We were also out of plain yogurt, so off to Krog we went. Taking the kids out past 7pm is usually a very bad idea. 7pm might as well be the full moon for my little werewolves. Being the daredevil that I am, we went for it.

After getting home around 2am, Wade got up at 6am and did the unthinkable. He went to work. Since he didn't stick around for breakfast, we called to tell him how delish his rolls were as we scarfed them down. Then, I made the best dinner I could think of to show my love. One with green peppers (barf-o). And homemade flour tortillas (super yummy)!

Daddy Hutt was so appreciative of all the good food that he promptly fell asleep on the couch.

Oh, and it turns out that being barely 30 and male at an all ages show makes you the creepy guy at the show.