Christmas 2008

It doesn't matter how much we cut back, presents - much like rabbits - tend to multiply when kids are involved. We're at a really, uh, let's call it fun place with the kids and the whole anticipation thing. Even so, Ava managed to fall asleep in record time on Christmas Eve. (Think Belle's huge birthday cake had something to do with that. Mega sugar rush turned into mega sugar low pretty fast.)

We spent the morning at home. In the pm we went south to the in-laws where we ate (a very late) brunch, opened gifts and shot some hoops.

The ultimate bed head. Belle's dino roars and walks. It's not annoying at all.

This is Ava being so excited that she can't contain herself. Guitar wasn't such a hit. The Wedgits were.

Belle encourages Luke to open his gifts by threatening to open them.

Luke demonstrates not sticking out his tongue - his latest obsession.

Wade and Lou (brother-in-law) helped Steve (father-in-law) hang his basketball hoop. Here they are burning off some of those Christmasy calories.

Belle turned 5!

We did the low key birthday thing for Belle's fifth. For her birthday lunch she chose Hananoki - our favorite hibachi place around. (They have killer Fire Scallops. By killer I mean they'll burn off every last taste bud on that tongue of yours.) And at the last minute she decided to go with a Cold Stone cake. It was a good thing she switched gears because I was having a heckuva time winning a Mario cake pan on ebay. The only request she had for her party? A pee-yaw-taw.

Blowing out the candle. See that cake? It weighed 7.5 pounds. Red velvet cake + sweet cream ice cream = way too yummy.

She finally got the princess gown she's always wanted. Thanks Aunt May& Uncle Lou!

The pee-yaw-taw.

Scooting back for 1/10 of a second to show off her take. You may notice that Ava is fiercely protecting her pile.

Holiday Traditions

Every year, my Gran purchased ornaments for each grandkid. She sent mine to me when I grew up and had a family of my own. Looking at all the old ornaments was so much fun that I decided to keep the tradition going with my kiddos.

Every year around this time the kids get to pick an ornament from Target or somewhere. This year we decided to do something a little more meaningful. We went to The Mad Potter where the kids got to choose an ornament and paint it. That was my first Mad Potter experience and it rocked. We will definitely be going back, most likely without an uber tired two year old (talk about a bull in a china shop).


In addition to the special ornaments, we typically make quite a few. This year we're working on lots of felt trees. The idea came from these cute, but ridiculously overpriced garlands.


We also love advent calendars. The kids have been getting the Playmobil advent calendars for the last fiveish years. This year we grabbed the Pirate version, which contains many, many small parts that hopefully don't find their way into Luke's grubby little hands. And now that I think about it, I'm not sure what relevance pirates have to Christmas, but I'm not going to spend much time worrying about it.

I happen to fancy the Starbucks version. Last year I bought all the remaining advent calendars on super clearance and since it wouldn't be good for those yummy chocolates to sit for an entire year, we ate them. In about an hour. This year my advent calendar is full of Dove chocolates.

What traditions do you guys have?

Truancy Intervention

On Friday a letter from Ava's school showed up in our mail box. A bit excited, I ripped the envelope to shreds. Ava has been (or maybe she's done now) taking tests for the gifted program that begins in third grade. This is new territory, so I'm not sure about the process, but delivering the results via letter makes sense.

Unfortunately, the contents had nothing to do with such test results. No, instead it was notice that if my lovely child is late once more I will be going to court. Nice. I know she's been late. I didn't know that she'd been late five times (and except for the time I locked the keys in the running car that was blocking our other vehicle, she's only been 2-3 minutes late) and that six equals legal intervention.

Now, say what you will about it being our responsibility to get her there on time. I get it. However, I wanted her to learn about natural consequences. When you throw yourself madly about the floor and refuse to dress, walk or talk, you have to sign in at the front desk - and here's the kicker - all by yourself. Who knew the natural consequence would be for me (Wade might participate at some point, but for now it's me) to attend truancy intervention meetings once a month at 7:45 am.

Knowing this was a problem prior to receiving the letter, I'd been racking my brain for ways to get her going in the morning. Seven seems a bit early to develop a coffee habit, so I opted for the one thing that consistently gets her attention. Money. She gets fifty cents for going to bed without throwing a fit the size of Texas and fifty cents for being in the car ready to go at or before 7:30. It's working.

After getting over the initial shock, I'm kind of looking forward to hanging with the other delinquent parents.

Cinnamon makes me happy

I'm a big, BIG fan of cinnamon. Provided I had a free week and a huge stash of cinnamon sticks, I'd totally make myself some undergarments and possibly a dress.

A few weeks ago Whole Foods whipped out the old cinnamon scented pine cone. Pine cones are neato and all, but I can't help but wonder who came up with the idea of adding scents to them. Pine smells pretty nice. Why mess with a good thing? I stumped google by asking for the history of scented pine cones. If there are any scholars out there with this knowledge, do share. But I digress.

Walking into the store, you're slapped silly by the fabulousness that is cinnamon. I've always been able to resist the urge to buy the $5.00 pine cones. Until the other day. Ava really, really (because she can't just really) wanted some. So, I totally gave in. She thought I was the best mom ever. And we were both happy.

Guess what? Cinnamon not only smells dreamy (which boosts brain activity), it's bursting with other healthy goodness as well such as anti-microbial qualities, controlling blood sugar and possibly sleepiness if consumed in excess (totally need to try that!).

Eight years and counting

Eight years ago yesterday, Wade and I realized that our marriage license was about to expire. That impending deadline lit a bigger fire under our bums than our five year relationship and my six month pregnant belly. We felt married and didn't really care about the legality of it so much, so we'd kind of put it off.

We had two great friends on call. Seriously. They were ready for that call saying we were finally ready to do it. I looked at the calendar and realized the next day was the day - 11/11/00. Only two numbers - and binary at that - for Wade to remember. I frantically called Tie The Knot Wedding Chapel. Thankfully the lovely lady was able to squeeze us in. Nestled between a 7-11 and slot car racing store complete with barred windows, it couldn't have been more romantic.

Seeing as it was eight years ago, we didn't have a digital camera. And scanning those photos hasn't quite made it to the top of my to do list. It's a real shame too, because there are some doozies.

We'll just pretend this was our wedding photo since it's about that old. You can tell because I look like I'd slept in the last seven years.

And all these years later.

By popular demand

Okay, so maybe not. Just thought I'd post a picture of Luke since he's been left out.

For those of you paying attention, this was the top half of his Halloween costume. This poor shirt has been loved hard and washed many times. His little boy belly sticks out from under it, but he refuses to let it be replaced by something that fits.

Belle saw this and asked where Luke's lips went.

What's up with the tooth fairy?

Ava recently lost tooth numero ocho. She'd been working really, really hard on that tooth and convinced Wade (I don't partake in tooth removal) to give it one last go as she was getting in bed. It made a gut wrenching pop as Wade ripped it from her mouth. Despite the blood (this was one of the bloodiest on record), she was beyond stoked about the tooth fairy coming. I'm assuming that the tooth fairy was somewhat unprepared as the call to take Ava's tooth to fairy land came right at bedtime.


Ava really, really, really wanted the Halloween Kitty from Build-a-Bear. Since it was one of those limited time dealies, we bought it for her and she was earning money toward buying it from us.

Because she got the call so late and had no cash to speak of, the tooth fairy did a bit of bartering. She took all the money Ava had earned and gave her the Halloween Kitty. Imagine Ava's confusion and anger when she woke up the next morning and saw that the tooth fairy had stolen her money.

Trick or treat, smell my feet

I love Halloween. I think family themed costumes are the bomb. We had a couple ideas (my fave was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) that never came to fruition. Instead we ended up with a hodge podge of cute. Belle recycled the Princess Belle costume from last year. Ava created her own Sonic the Hedgehog outfit and ended up with a rash from her make up job. Luke was supposed to be a cow, but ended up a centaur-esque being with the body of a small child wearing a Mr. Happy shirt from the waist up and that of a cow from the waist down.

This was really the first year Luke sorta had a clue. At the very first house we were able to trick a lady into giving us some candy. Upon receipt of said candy, Luke tried to feed it to the lady's electronic dancing cat. So we tried again. And again. After five-ish houses Luke was done. Try as we might, we couldn't get him to get us more candy. Because we're really smart, we didn't realize until we were almost home and saw a few wrappers fly over the edge of the stroller that Luke was staying in the stroller to munch on his candy.

In keeping with tradition, here's the lovely photo I got. Luke was hiding behind the couch being all pissy because I wanted him to wear the cow hoodie. Princess Jasmine graced us with her presence for the occasion.

We like to spread all the booty out and do a photo shoot before we gobble it up. Unfortunately, we didn't get to that point. I thought about posting a photo of the booty most of the booty ended up inside. But after checking out the photos Belle took of my ass, I decided against it.

Try this at home - Cinnamon Streusel Coffeecake

Since happening upon the King Arthur Blog (which might've been mentioned a time or two before), I've become a junkie. This week I made the Cinnamon Streusel Coffeecake. If you click on the link, you're going to see a pretty piece of cake. Though I see many, many people post photos of every step and possibly even the resulting yummy-ness, I can't. It already takes me at least twice as long as it should since I typically have to referee five to seven arguments, put some kind of toy and/or kid in time out and deal with issues surrounding the hunger and thirst of youngsters. So, my friends (I say that because you probably are my friends and I'm not running for President), below you'll see how much we liked this recipe.

Final verdict? It was good. You should make it.

Words of wisdom? Make sure to have LOTS (as in every single one in your house) of clean bowls ready for measuring all your ingredients. And add 1-2 ounces more water to the topping than the recipe calls for.

I'm still here

It's been a busy couple of weeks. I always have intentions of getting some blogs together and scheduling the posts, but somehow it doesn't happen. This past weekend we got to hang out with Grandma Hutt (Nebraska), Aunt Judy and Uncle Bob (Colorado). They usually make it to our area annually. They like to pretend it's the distance, but we know it takes them an entire year to build up the courage to deal with us again. As always, we had a blast.

We celebrated my thirty-onederfulest birthday (Sept 23 - and for those of you that like to say I'm allllll the way over the hill, I want you to know that I'm at the bottom of that hill, haven't even begun the ascent yet thankyouverymuch) and Wade's thirty-second (Oct 7) at Woodland Park. For my actual birthday, Wade made me some butterscotch finger cakes, which were almost ready to eat upon my return from my lovely pedicure (thanks Fox!). Talk about delish. Ava requested them for her birthday cake.

With the weather cooling off (except for today - 80s, get out of here!) I've been in a baking mood. Not being Jewish, I hadn't heard of challah. Since the recipe popped up on KA Baker's Banter, I decided to give it a try. If you like your girlish figure, don't even look. Good stuff. Really good. In fact, I'd make some right now, but I'm working on some Puffs. So far, pretty easy. As if that's not enough, Wade's getting some overnight cinnamon rolls (which you've all made, right?) for his birthday breakfast.

This weekend we went on a shoe hunt for the wee ones. And here's an idea, "shoe store" owners. Why not stock your shoe store so the descriptive word "shoe" is applicable. Huh? Why didn't anyone think of that? The "customer service" at Dick's lives up to the store name. And Stride Rite. Oh, don't even get me started. The employees act like they've been held hostage in the back and force fed the squished crackers that never seem to get cleaned up. Ava ended up getting a pair of New Balance from there partially because they were the only pair of 13.5s in the ENTIRE MALL. How is that possible? They were the first pair to catch my eye (and it was the first store on our long, long journey), not only because they were on clearance, but because they were cute. So, over an hour and several miles later we trooped back to get them. At the half way back point, I reminded Ava that I was going to be more than annoyed if she decided not to get them since we had to pass our exit to get back there.

Belle got a pair today. Guess what size she needs? 13.5. Crazy. She seems to have inherited my skis. Poor kid. Luke is still running around barefoot because there are no 9.5 wides out there. NB has the cutest Sesame Street shoes (my fave is Cookie Monster) out right now. For whatever reason, the powers that be over at NB decided that kids with wide feet shouldn't get the pleasure of wearing the cutest shoes ever and only made them in medium width. Hmmpff.

Don't forget to call and harass Wade tomorrow!

For those bored nights

I'm not sure how Hulu came to Wade's attention, but it would've been better if it hadn't. For those nights when we're not thrilled with our Netflix options (need to remember to stay on top of that queue), we Hulu. And because my husband is smart when it comes to cords, we can hook our computer up to the tv, enabling me to watch without whipping out the ole crooked glasses. (I'm not sure how they got crooked. I never wear them and as far as I know they stay in the case. The one time I wore them I was at the grocery store and it was so nice to be able to read the signs that say what's on what aisle.)

The choices are kind of B list. And the ones that aren't don't necessarily have all the seasons available. Despite that, some of the best tv ever is on there. We're talking Firefly, News Radio, The O.C. (season 1), Kitchen Nightmares. Good stuff.

Two down

Belle is officially a school goer. She goes to the coolest school ever. We went for a visit last year and tried to get in, but it's so cool that nobody quit. Her schedule isn't too bad - three hours a day three days per week.

Wade's schedule, on the other hand, is kind of crazy on Belle's school days. Ava has to be picked up around 2:30, or whenever the teachers get them out, and Belle's pick up time is 3:00 several miles away through serious traffic. Next year the girls will be going to the same school, so I think we can deal for one school year.

Like the photo? That's Belle saying, "Here's your freakin' smile. Now get the heck outta dodge chumps."

Where do you draw the line?

I draw it right here. At this outfit.


Ava prepares her outfits the night before and I usually double check them. You know, to make sure she doesn't wear stuff like this in public. I'm all for the kids using their clothes as a creative outlet, but damn.

My initial reaction when I saw this fab combo was to take her straight to our eye doctor. Obviously there's something seriously wrong with her sight. She was dead set on wearing the shirt. It looks lovely with her jean skirt. So, I encouraged her to pick the jean skirt and gave her the night to ponder it and hopefully dream about the taunting she'd receive and the phone calls I'd get from her teachers.

Here's the up close in case that first picture didn't make you retch.

As you'd imagine, it didn't work. She woke up consumed with the thought of how great the colors complimented each other, a sore throat and miserable with allergies. Having been beaten on by ragweed all week, I felt for her and decided that she should spend the day at home.

Belle's Birthday

You're not going crazy. Belle's birthday isn't until Christmas Eve. But she's been planning her fifth birthday party since two days after her fourth birthday. It would've been the day after, but since that was Christmas Day, she was occupied for a few hours.

She'd like it to be known that she's having a Mario Party. I've been stalking some Mario pans on ebay (since they're from 1989!) and came across this uber cute Super Mario Mushroom Cookie that I'll have to make. Looks like Wilton has taken down all their old shaped pan instructions. Surely they didn't trash all that info and it's just buried deep in their site.

In case you missed last year's party, it was a royal event involving Princess Ariel. Due to the unfortunate date of her birth, we try to party at least twice (we've even done half birthday parties, which opened a can of worms I wasn't quite prepared to deal with and landed Belle with a seriously infected ear lobe) in an effort to prolong her realization that she's going to be screwed.

Blowing out the candles. Note the placement of the candles. Not my idea.

More cute cookie cutters

Look what I found! More cutie cute cookie cutters. I saw them last year before Christmas, but just decided that I had to have them. If you've never heard of Fred, it's probably best. They have a knack for making products you really don't need like the Pick Your Nose cup - animal or human, Lego Utensils and Salt & Pepper blocks. But you must have them. You must or you won't be able to go on living.


When I purchased these cuties I wasn't sure if I'd keep them or give them to my friend with a cookie biz that shares my love of cookie cutters. (Side note: don't try her fab cookies unless you plan on ordering some on a regular basis.) This has always been a problem for me.

When I was about 7 - you know, the age when advice sticks for a lifetime - I couldn't come up with a gift for my friend. My mom (or grandma, that part is fuzzy) told me that the best gift is one that you'd like to keep. So, I tend to get gifts that I really don't want to give you. And chances are I've probably used your gift before giving it to you. No, I'm not joking. But it's gotten better over the past few years with Wade's belittling and the ability to order online and have the item shipped directly to the recipient.

The game called Poop

Last weekend the girls were getting restless. It was way too hot to play outside. We had played our homemade match game a few times and a few of our other trusty boredom busters. But that wasn't enough. No, they demanded more.

In a moment of pure genius, Wade decided that we should teach them bullsh*t. Fine by me, but we had to give it a more kid friendly name. Wade thought bull would suffice. But then I reminded him that they are kids. Kids think that think the word poop is the funniest thing since Spongebob.

We played a few rounds of poop and discovered that our girls are fabulous poop players. (Imagine that.) They seemed to have an unending tolerance for that game, but Wade and I finally got pooped out and had to call it a day.

Dry erase markers smell much worse than Sharpies, but thankfully aren't as permanent

It was peaceful. A little too peaceful if ya know what I mean. The girls were playing happily in their room with the door shut. Pretty much insures no interruptions or destruction by the little brother. Luke was occupied and I was enjoying the quiet. I was enjoying the quiet.

Who do I think I am to enjoy quiet? I have three crazy kids. Quiet and good do not belong in the same sentence around here. Unless it's bedtime.

Then, as I perused the net, I caught a whiff of a bitingly unnatural smell. It seemed to be coming out of the air vent, so naturally I got down on all fours to see (since smells aren't invisible) what was going on. It took me a minute and then it clicked. Luke found the dry erase markers that one of Ava's teachers pawned off on us at the end of last year.

So I did the walk run to the office to assess the damage. Legs? Check. Three foot area of carpet? Check. Desk? Check. Rocking chair? Check. I asked him what he was up to. "Coloring." Mmmm hmmm, I see that. Are you supposed to color there? "It's kyoot."

Kinda hard to punish that. We hate the carpet and plan on ripping it out sometime soonish, so no real harm done there. And since it was dry erase it pretty much wiped off the rest of everything. Except Luke.

But how many times has your defense/reason/excuse for something been, "Well, it/he/she was so darn cute." It totally works. Why'd ya spend $500.00 on a bag? Well, it's cute. Why'd ya spend $950.00 on that ho? Well, she was insanely cute. Why do you keep that destructive munchkin around? Well, he's ridiculously cute.

What's on your wish list?

I'm having a hard time getting over the fact that Ava's class (in a brand new state of the art school) had garbage bags on the wish list. Garbage bags on a wish list? It's hard for me to verbalize (because I'm talking in my head, that's how it's verbal) how incredibly pathetic I think that is. Shouldn't a wish list be somewhat more . . . unattainable?

So, in light of that crap, here's my list.

1. My pre-kid boobs and waist
2. A free, fabulously furnished house complete with housekeeping staff, a chef and a driver. To be located on the cliffs of Malibu or Greece.
3. To feel rested again
4. A night or two with any combination of the following: Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Colin Farrell, Paul Newman a la Cool Hand Luke, Taye Diggs
5. A Ferrari F430 Spider

And that, my friends, is how you dream big. (Right Roger Day?)

First day of school

How awful is it that I continue to dread the first day of school? The mere thought of getting even less sleep is enough to make me nap while I'm awake. Ava is definitely capable of rolling out of bed to the i-n-s-a-n-e meowing of her kitty alarm clock (in case the screeching of her clock doesn't wake her, surely the heinous sounds of our real cats climbing the walls will) and getting herself going. But, no, my feet have to hit the floor first. Gotta get to the kitchen for some yummy Tully's and try to rub some of the sleep out of my eyes.

We're only on day one. It's gotta get easier. Right?

To say that Ava loves school would pretty much be the biggest understatement in the entire history of time. She LOVESLOVESLOVES school. And this year she's going to a brand spanking new school with state of the art stuff. Though, it seems as though their copy machine lacks the ability to print front and back. I was annoyed to see garbage bags on the wish list for her class. But when I got the 40 page Parent Handbook printed only on one side of paper, I was really annoyed. I'm pretty sure they could've saved enough money to buy garbage bags by making that baby 20 pages of front and back.

First day of 1st grade.	First day of 2nd grade.

What a clever idea

A few weeks ago I got a new job. We decided to celebrate (otherwise known as spending money I hadn't made) by giving me the night off dinner duty. My dinner of choice came from P.F. Chang's. Everything I've sampled has been superb, but my fave is the fat bowl of Dan Dan Noodles. So. Yummy.

With three youngsters we don't eat in restaurants very often. Take out has become our BFF. Take out laughs in the face of tantrums and says, your parents can put you in time out in your room and not be humiliated in public because we're EATING AT HOME. When we're feeling secure in our parenting and venture into the public feeding frenzy with our brood, it's rarely at a restaurant where chopsticks are the norm and you have to ask for a fork. But when it is, I'm usually the loser asking for a fork. And you know people notice when you ask for a fork at a place like that.

I placed the order and Wade picked it up on his way home from his top secret job. Surprise of all surprises popped out of the bag! Some cute cheater chopsticks for the chopstick impaired! Granted, you can purchase chopstick trainers like these, these or these, but this takes a rubber band and some folded paper! Apparently I'm not as slick as I thought and someone did notice me pretending my fork was two pieces of wood.

The artiste is in the house

Ava has always been insanely (as in very, very not withdrawn and reclusive) creative and artistic. As a parent, there's some balance between fostering that creativity and going mad trying to provide enough crafts and the proper supplies for such a child. The summer months have been especially challenging. We get tons of ideas from Kids Craft Weekly, Kiddio and Make & Takes. Even with all these awesome ideas at our fingertips, it seems like we're going through a few projects daily.

Self portrait. "In my back yard"

She recently spent a weekend with her grandparents. They have a fabulous farm providing tons of fun we don't have being city folk. Fox, my mother-in-law and Ava's grandma, is an exceptional artist and owner of Lacetree Weaving. Fox was tying knots on the piece below when Luke, Belle and I arrived on Sunday. I had no idea they were going to weave! Ava did everything except the knots (of the black fringe). She was super excited and exhaustedly told me that it took her the entire day to make.


Maybe I need to reconsider the space I have marked for my future elliptical trainer. A loom might be a better purchase.

Belle's a winner!

I'm not saying that to boost her self esteem or to make fun of her, she really did win! At the beginning of the summer the girls signed up for the library's summer reading program. Belle had to listen to/read/but mostly listen to 25 books in order to be eligible for a prize. She entered to win two prizes - a Build-A-Bear gift certificate and what I thought was a Blue's Clues game.

The phone call came on a lazy Saturday while Ava was with grandma. Belle won! She really, really won! What she won, I wasn't sure. We jumped in the van and drove as fast as possible (around 45 mph with traffic and lights) to claim her prize. The excitement was unbearable as we pulled into the parking lot. Belle ran ahead, obeyed traffic rules, and pushed the handicapped button to automatically open the unnecessarily heavy door. In the process, she was almost crushed between the quickly opening mass of a door and the rail. She escaped without injury and hopped inside to claim her prize.

The lovely librarian presented Belle with her Blue's Clues Song Game book. Clearly, I missed the song and book part of the prize description. Had I noticed, I would've encouraged her to try for the Ipod Shuffle. Upon laying eyes on the prize, the librarian noticed my look of disgust and told me that I was free to stick my tongue out at her as soon as she turned her back. I was thinking more along the lines of chucking the book at her. But seriously, the person that invented these song books had to be a childless uncle or aunt that utterly loathed the parents of his/her nieces and nephews. There is simply no other explanation for such a horrid, horrid idea.

Anyway, Belle is very excited and enjoys playing with her book in her room. With the door shut.

Hey Ava, your tongue didn't make it into the picture!!

The color of love

Who knew it was dirt colored?

Spot #1 (aka dirty Spot) was Ava's first webkinz. She loved him. Then she lost him. Luke stole dirty Spot and claimed him as his own. Except for the occasional spat, Ava pretty much acknowledges this as the cold, hard truth. We knew that having a back up for dirty Spot was of utmost importance. But it never really made it onto our to do list.

Guess what Luke found yesterday as Belle was picking out her reward for sleeping in her bed all night for seven nights? Yep, a back up Spot! I knew that dirty Spot had been loved hard, but I had no idea just how hard.


On a side note, I love how kids name things in such an obvious manner. It's a really good thing that most of us grow out of that. Otherwise, we'd all be Pruney Looking Thing, What Was I Thinking, Damn, That Hurt or Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii.

Dinner on the cheap & healthy

Our mission for the day involved the farmers' market. The kids were baited by the most delish ice cream on the face of the planet. And I had a hankerin' for cucumbers and tomatoes to put on some homemade pitas with hummus. With $13 in ones, we set off. $6 was ear marked for the cones. After checking the options, I found just what I wanted from one of my favorite vendors, Elmwood Stock Farm. I've gotten the best ground beef from them on several occasions, but today I scored two cucumbers for $1 and a plump, organic tomato for $2.20. Not too shabby.

Probably should've called it a day at that point, but then I came across okra. Fried okra is one of the (few) things I miss when not living in the south. Since asparagus is done for the season, okra seemed like just the thing to fill that green veggie void. A box of the slimy - when not cooked properly (fried, that is) - goodness was $4, but the nice, local farmer was willing to take the $3.80 I had left.

In an effort to curb our meat consumption (for financial, ethical and global reasons), I've attempted to make flavorful veggie dinners that my family will actually eat. Pita and hummus pretty much fits the bill. Pitas are insanely easy to make. And I want them badly enough that I'm willing to turn my kitchen into a gigantic oven on one of the most humid days of the summer. Hummus is slightly easier to make than the pita. It involves tossing a can of garbanzo beans in the food processor along with some garlic, olive oil, lemon juice, tahini, salt, pepper and hitting the 'on' button.

Such a great meal for a hot and humid day like today.

Haircut marathon

We let ourselves go over the summer. Why bother with haircuts on a regular schedule when the hair is drenched with pool water and/or sweat? And since the kids (okay, they probably don't really care, but I do) don't want to look like they got their hair cut for the first day of school on purpose, we have to do it a little early. This was the week.

I'm pretty good with a pair of clippers. I can buzz the heck out of any head you throw at me. I can even make a pretty straight line. And I make a darn good fro-hawk. But scissors are a completely different animal. One time Wade and I decided that it'd be a good idea to save a few bucks and trim Ava's bangs ourselves. Fifteen minutes and no bangs later, we decided that the 6 pack we drank prior to was a bad idea. (No, we didn't get drunk and cut her hair. But it would've explained the outcome.) The worst part was that I knew better.

Growing up, my mom did most my grooming. Considering what a brat I was, it must've taken all her patience to cut my hair and not my throat. When I was around 7, I decided that I wanted my hair just like hers. She got me positioned just right, grabbed the nasty junk drawer scissors and got going. My bangs progressively got shorter and shorter and shorter. When there wasn't much bang left and I still wanted them shorter she was confused and finally thought to ask what I envisioned as the final product. "Your bangs." She didn't stop laughing for a year. See, she had long hair and a pony tail.

And so, we pay someone to cut their wild little manes.

Here's the before.

My kids think that "smile" means make the weirdest face possible. The front of Luke's hair wasn't too bad, but he was thisclose to rockin a mullet. Belle's hair was actually growing out super cute and looked great pulled back in a clip. Ava pretty much needs a buzz a la Britney to avoid the scream fest that ensues after I grab the brush.

And the after.

Again, I said "smile." When will I learn? Luke's bangs look like I got my grubby little fingers on them. That's the only thing I don't like about his cut. The lady does a great job on the rest of his head and even whispers sweet nothings into his ear the entire time she's got him in the chair. Ava decided on a slightly stacked bob. Belle went back to uber short. The first time she got that cut it was an accident, but it fits her sassy personality perfectly.

Here's to all those bad mom hair cuts!

The cutest cookie cutters ev-ah

I've seen these cutie Circus Cookie Cutters on several blogs. It's hard to justify paying almost $4.00 per cookie cutter especially since we purchased the the 100 cookie cutter pack from Wilton a few years ago and aren't exactly running low. But did you look at them?

I don't often (okay, it's never happened prior to this) stage cookie cutter photo shoots, but thought it was appropriate to have the tiger ready to pounce on the elephant.

In addition to the animals, you get a cookie recipe! I was all set to try it until I saw mace in the ingredient list. That is one ingredient that's never popped up on a recipe of mine. Turns out that mace is a nutmegy spice that gives the cookies their boxed animal cracker taste.

It'd be great if I could show you the finished product. But, we're oinkers and ate them all prior to the photo shoot.

Hang up and exercise

There are quite a few people at my gym that are way more important than I'll ever be. I mean, they can't even get thirty minutes in without a call. Seems like an awful life. What? Those people meant to be on the phone? Oh. Wow. What an awful life.

I can totally understand taking a cell along for an around the neighborhood kinda jog. You never know when a water hole cover might be loose and collapse under your weight. (Yes, that was me. I wasn't really running, but easily could've been, which would've made it much, much worse. It's always been one of my rules not to step on those things and the one time I broke that rule, I proved that I wasn't a complete lunatic for having it in the first place.)

But the gym? Doesn't seem like a great idea to bench press and talk on your cell. Though, you can pretty much guarantee at any given moment that you can grunt, "Yo, Rocky. Get da bar." and some muscle bound, spandex wearing, balding 40 year old will reach over and pluck that bar right off your chest with a pinky as you continue your convo on your cell phone.

What are those people trying to prove? That they can multi-task in the worst possible way imaginable? And, really, why do I think my workout is better sans cell phone? Is the waterfall of sweat cascading over my large-ish forehead ending as a scented pool in my sports bra my reward? Perhaps it's my toned-ish thighs from riding my boyfriend (aka the elliptical). Nah, it's gotta be the fact that in case I'm being chased I'll actually have a chance of getting away due to the increased lung capacity and fine tuned muscles that real exercise provides. Those chatterboxes will be so oblivious that they'll be timing the call to their fave pizza joint so the delivery wo/man pulls up at the exact moment their "run" is over.

Would ya look at that?

That almost red thing slightly off center to the right is our first ripe (it's ripe today, wasn't a couple days ago when I took that photo) tomato of 2008. I've been jonesin' for a big, juicy tomato since May. So, these things have taken forever to ripen. We've also got a big fat tomato plant (I'm sure they have a name...but that's as technical as I get when it comes to tomatoes) that's really, really close too.

We don't typically buy tomatoes from the grocery store. No point. They taste like slightly wet cardboard. And lately they can make you pretty sick. Doing right by this fabulous planet and supporting our local farmers is an option we choose pretty often. But there's something about walking onto your back porch (our garden of choice to keep the local vermin from snagging them before we get the chance), seeing that ball (or oval) of juiciness and popping it into your mouth.

I'm finding this tomato obsession particularly odd because until a few years ago I wasn't a fan. Not even a little. Unless you count ketchup. In that case, big fan. Well, I like salsa too - specifically McDowell Farms Salsa which I happened upon a few years ago at Kentucky Crafted: The Market and have since found at Liquor Barn.

Happy tomato eating!

Shoe Tying Fun

I had never really planned on teaching Ava how to tie her shoes. Really, why bother when there are so many non-tying options out there? Besides, I bet Carrie Bradshaw didn't know how to tie shoes.

Ava is a master knot maker, so I figured she was pretty set. Then one day she brought home her glowing report card. It was almost neon it was glowing so hard. But one of the lights was dim keeping it just below neon status. Who knew that shoe tying was on a report card? At that point, Ava informed me that she was pretty much the only kid in her class that didn't know how to tie shoes. Seriously? Surely there are other parents out there that don't have that on the top of their to do list.

So, we kept trying to make time to show her. But the darn velcro and rushing out the door at the last minute made it oh so hard to remember. One lazy day a few weeks ago, I decided that it was time. I grabbed my irreplaceable Asics (seriously, can't find another pair to fit my 10AAs) and Ava attempted the bunny ear tie. That was pretty much a no go. It was on to the other way that may or may not have a name. She learned on the first try. And here she is demonstrating.

First you cross the laces.

Then you put one under the other. That fluff ball at the bottom of the photo is the pregnant momma cat that's adopted us and forces us to feed her. Anyone want a kitten in a couple months?

Then you make a loop de loop or two.

Bring loop number two over and under loop number one.

And you end up with a shoe that probably won't fall off when you take a step and a crazy happy kiddo!

Progress

So, I've been working on getting closer to my ideal square root. I'm happy to report that there has finally been some progress. That darn 11.7898261² wouldn't budge. 11.7473401² is my new BFF (or at least til I kill another pound). That's some seriously exciting stuff right there, folks. I'm pretty sure that I've almost fried the elliptical at the gym. Love that thing. LOVE. IT.

Should the elliptical ever get a spot in the Olympics, I am so at that trial. In fact, I think the gym should start having elliptical races. The ultimate prize for that winner would be an elliptical of their own. And since my gym membership is up at the end of the month, they should definitely have the finals no later than July 31.

Do you smell that bread?

In an attempt to curb our horrendous food spending habits, I started making our own bread. Yes, it started out rocky, but it has been perfected. For whatever reason, our kitchen turns into an oven during the summer, so baking in the actual oven is pretty much out. What to do. Turns out a fabulous sister-in-law of mine had a brand new breadmaker that had never been used and wanted to see some action.

I'll spare you the details of the inch tall loaves and the mushied middle loaves and get to the good stuff. King Arthur has some great recipes on their site. (They also have a great blog that you probably shouldn't ever check out.) The winner of all our bread tests (not based solely on the fact that Ava will eat the bread AND the crust) is the 100% Whole Wheat with flax seeds and Abigail's Honey. Over the course of my bread eating life, I've had quite a few $5 loaves that don't even compare.

Nevermind the fact that we're saving a few bucks and know each of the eight ingredients in our bread, the smell that occurs when those few items knead, rise, mix and bake is the reason I do it!

Rude ass bitch

As a human, the pool of stupid comments is, let's say as big as Lake Superior and Lake Michigan. When you add the title mom to human, the pool of stupid turns into at least one ocean. Add an ocean for each additional child. That's a whole lotta stupid. Knowing this makes it possible for me to ignore most of it.

However, when people are downright rude, that's another story. I haven't had much rude directed at my little family.

I often go shopping with my sister in law, also a mother of three. We're most aware that we look like a preschool - six kids ages 7, 4, 4, 2, 2 and almost 8 months - on a field trip when we're out. If people have nasty things to say, they've always been quiet about it. Until the other day.

We were making our way into Whole Foods (which I'm liking less and less - thanks for getting rid of our fave & your most popular selling cereal - makes sense) when two ancient women were leaving. One old bitty said real bitchy like, "Well, thanks for helping with overpopulation." So I said, "Actually, they all have different dads. That makes us -2 when it's all said and done." No, I didn't, but should it happen again, I will.

A clean fridge

Cleaning the fridge, as in taking everything out and washing all that sticky goo off, is an activity so heinous that I do it about once a year. Yeah, seriously. At least I can admit it. So it was that time a couple weeks ago. It's almost like I opened a window and let in the light. The clean fridge sparkles. It smells good. It's empty. Is this what happens when one cleans a fridge?

We're, okay, I'm pretty good at labeling leftovers with a name (oh, don't tell me that you've never had one of those unidentified moldy sculptures in a rubbermaid) and date, so I knew exactly how old some of that stuff was. The new plan, which will work for at least a month, is to remove food items after one week.

And while we're on the subject of cleaning, what is up with those foamy soap dispensers? I love them, don't get me wrong, but I'm tired of being assaulted as the thing fires off in random directions due to formerly foamy soap clogging the shooter. The worst was when I shot Lucy the cat. My mother in law suggested spraying some canola oil into the shooter to keep it lubed up. Only worked for a shot or two.

Happy Father's Day!

Wade and our college buddy went to see The Queers last night near Cincy. I thought Wade was going to take part of this morning off and have a yummy Father's Day breakfast with us. At 8:30pm last night I realized that we were out of an essential Overnight Cinnamon Roll ingredient - buttermilk. (If you've never made these DO IT NOW!) We were also out of plain yogurt, so off to Krog we went. Taking the kids out past 7pm is usually a very bad idea. 7pm might as well be the full moon for my little werewolves. Being the daredevil that I am, we went for it.

After getting home around 2am, Wade got up at 6am and did the unthinkable. He went to work. Since he didn't stick around for breakfast, we called to tell him how delish his rolls were as we scarfed them down. Then, I made the best dinner I could think of to show my love. One with green peppers (barf-o). And homemade flour tortillas (super yummy)!

Daddy Hutt was so appreciative of all the good food that he promptly fell asleep on the couch.

Oh, and it turns out that being barely 30 and male at an all ages show makes you the creepy guy at the show.

Intentional Injuries

What is it with band aids? My kids will do anything to get one of those stinky pieces of sticky plastic on their bodies. That becomes a problem when we actually need a band aid and have wasted them all on non injuries. We've been out for a while and I finally remembered to buy some yesterday because I've gotten tired of raiding the first aid kit in the van every time there's a band aid emergency.

The kids were so excited. I didn't give into the Sponge Bob band aids or anything fancy. Though, I might've if they had a little absorbant pad that actually sucked up blood and they didn't leave nasty film behind that takes forever to come off.

Belle managed to get a scratch a few minutes after we got home. She picked a blue band aid. About five seconds later she told me that a bee stung her. While we were in the house. With all the doors and windows shut. Hmmm. Five seconds later she "fell." Five minutes later she'd had enough. She asks, "Actually, mommy, can you just hurt me?" WHAT?! At that point I gave in and let her have a band aid for her non injury.

Neato toys

Last month I won a Balancing Monkeys toy (which I can't seem to link) from Plan Toys via GoodyBlog. That's my first win. Not as exciting as a trip for two to Hawaii, but the kids have had a blast fighting over playing with the monkeys.

Plan Toys is a green toy company. Their toys are made out of old rubber trees that would otherwise be cut and burned. The toys are made in their own factories, giving them control of the materials and processes used to make them.

If you're in the market for some non toxic toys made by an environmentally friendly company, check them out. They have some really fun stuff!!

The 90s are back

It's not summer according to the calendar, but according to the sweat drenching my shirt, the humidity making it tough to breathe and the fact that school is out - it's definitely summer. I've been dreading the 90s since they left last year. Damn 90s. Actually, it's not really the 90s' fault. It's more humidity's fault. Without humidity the 90s wouldn't be so bad. Those two are in one of those troubled, unhealthy relationships. Thank goodness it only lasts for a few months. But they always seem to get back together. Therapy. Maybe they should try therapy.

In an effort to keep myself the kids from going bonkers this summer, I decided to sign the girls up for the summer reading program with the public library. Ava has to read for 15 hours (doesn't that seem like a lot?!) and Belle has to have 25 books read to her. In perfect Ava fashion, we came home from the library that first day and Ava read for over two hours. When she was at 02:57:53 (she's using the stopwatch on my cell phone to keep track of her time) I told her to go ahead and fill in three hours' worth of reading time. That caused a humongo melt down. She can't lie about how long she's read. So, maybe this is going to backfire.

The girls taught Luke how to tell knock knock jokes. Great. I thought we were done with those for a while. While they get the whole Knock Knock. Who's there? thing it's the part that comes next that they. don't. get. It's usually something along the lines of Daddy banana or pink donkey.

Gotta run. Time to hit the slip n slide!

Fancy Nancy Par-tay

The girls had a busy weekend. On Sunday they went to a fabulous Fancy Nancy dress up/tea party. Ava was pretty upset that I'd been calling it a tea party when there was, in fact, no tea served. She half bought my explanation that actual hot tea would've been too dangerous since there were so many little kids that could've suffered severe burns in the event of a spill. Then she shared a cookie with her mama because she's a good girl.

Outfit numero uno.

Can you stand how much fun Ava is having?

One of Belle's outfits. I failed to get her prior to her outfit change. Luke couldn't take all the girliness and had to escape. While watching him check out some more manly toys, I turned to find Belle in her panties. In the middle of a huge, busy bookstore. With lots of windows. Nice.

Whatta silly goose.

Last, but not least, Belle lighting her cig blowing feathers around.

Zoo fun

On Saturday we went to the Cincinnati Zoo with the fam, which happens to be the second oldest zoo in the country. We couldn't have asked for better weather. Though, we could've asked for it to be less crowded. The crowd was thick and somewhat annoying.

Belle laid on the ground while hugging a goat in the petting zoo and asked if I wanted to take a picture. Perfect photo op except that Wade had the camera with a fit throwing Luke outside the petting zoo. I don't even want to know what kind of germs she got from doing that.

After the zoo we headed to La Rosa's, which was way better than I remembered. Kinda seems like they've gone a bit upscale a la Fazoli's.

I'm pretty sure that my facial expression wouldn't have added much to this picture.

Ava loved the seal. It was surprisingly difficult to get her off this thing.

Concussions, broken noses & pain. Oh my!

Last Tuesday morning I awoke to a head butt directly to my right eye brow. Definitely not your typical "meeep, meeep, meeep" (and then "meeep, meeep, meeep" ten minutes later - yes, I'm a snoozer) from the dreaded alarm clock, but not exactly breakfast in bed either. After spending most of the day in a weird fog and nauseous, I decided that not only had my fabulous sleep been rudely interrupted, but I also had a concussion. Thank you child that remains nameless.

Last night the girls were doing a pretty good job of going to bed. We'd done the whole read, get a drink, give kisses, tuck in thing and I thought I was going to be able to watch the rest of American Idol in peace (oh, c'mon, you know you watch it). A girl child of mine that shall remain nameless decided she needed ONE MORE goodnight kiss. As I leaned down to give her the 20th goodnight kiss of the evening, she popped up and smacked me right in the kisser. I screamed the choicest four letter word ever, collapsed on the bed and cried for a bit while trying not to lose my dinner all over the place (sure didn't want to have to clean that up!). After a call to my doc's assistant, I went in to have it checked. The verdict? Might be broken. Since my schnoz is in approximately the right spot there's nothing to be done.

Luke turns 2

His birthday was May 4, but we finally celebrated with the fam yesterday. The weather was perfect for a park party. I had a few issues with Elmo. He was so unwilling to work with me. Had he been a bit more cooperative, we could've gotten a better look. I'm thinking that his imminent demise was behind the attitude.

Luke was appalled by our horrendous rendition of happy birthday. You can be too by clicking here.

The winning present. Luke loved this poundy ball toy so much that he refused to swing (which might be his single favorite thing in the world). He hung out in the van with Wade clinging to the balls.